So...I have had a few Disappointments this past week. I am trying not to focus on them because that gives them too much power over me. But I want to get them off my chest and here is as good a place as any to do it.
First of all, this week marks the 18th anniversary of my fathers passing (July 3rd, 1990) and I always get a bit melancholy about that. I miss my father very much. There are so many things I want to talk about with him and questions I want to ask and stories I want to hear! I realize that this is the natural order of life, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
The Fourth of July was actually a really good day for me! I spent the majority of it at home working on projects intended to aid me in my photography and that just feels good! Then I continued a tradition that was started several years ago by The Dark Ones and that is to view the Glendale Community College fireworks display from Sahuaro Ranch Park! It was really hot but that's to be expected in Phoenix AZ in July! But then we had a bit of a Monsoon storm come thru. The clouds covered the sun and the wind gusted strong for a few hours to aid in cooling things down a bit, but that wind was a bit of a hindrance to any attempt to enjoy all the BB-Q goodness that was available! I was really afraid that the show would be canceled because of it as well, but the wind calmed down in time for the show to take place. It was a very nice display of pretty lights and colors! (I got some good shots too! Including a really cool lightning picture! Woot!)
The next day (yesterday) was, again, a combination of fun and disappointment. I had a scheduled photo shoot with a model who was coming up from Tucson for the weekend. So I spent more time cleaning and setting up the "Studio". The disappointment came as I was still tweaking the lighting. I snapped 25 images...and as she sat on the stool she was posing on, said she wanted to reschedule because she was feeling sick. She had told me on the phone earlier that she had eaten something on the 4th that had made her ill. She thought she was over it, but then it kinda snuck up on her all of the sudden. So, hours of work to prepare...and 25 images to show for it.
But the silver lining here is that it allowed me to attend a birthday/pool party at Jeff and Nola's that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to go to! I have to say that I had a really wonderful time. It was relaxing and fun. There were about 35-40 people there splashing in the pool and having more BB-Q goodness! I hadn't been swimming like that for such a long time I almost forgot what it was like!
Then, today as I was getting ready to work on the photos from yesterday's abbreviated photo shoot, the RAW files up and disappeared! I mean
POOF! Gone! And I didn't delete them either! What happened was this: I was using picasa to view the pics. Picasa has a "rotate" function and I utilized it to get the correct orientation of the RAW images. Well...long story a little shorter, the RAW files were "poofed" before my eyes! I mean GONE! They weren't in the Deleted Items folder...nor in a "hidden" folder...they were just
GONE! I had only one option to get them back and that was to pay $40 for a piece of software to recover them from my CF card which I had already re-formated! Man what a royal pain! But it was a successful venture and now I have something to use if this ever pops up again.
But here is the main thing that has disappointed me: I had a model cancel a shoot scheduled later this week for "Personal Reasons". Frankly that has really eaten away at my self confidence. I mean, I understand completely when life throws a curve ball and things don't go as planned. I think I demonstrated that when my model asked to reschedule during a shoot! But what gets me here is this: I feel that I did everything correctly and professionally with this other girl. We met to discuss creative ideas. I bought her lunch and we brainstormed and I thought came upon a really great concept that I was really excited about! We even planned to meet a week before the shoot to shop for things we would need for the shoot that likely I would have paid for and she would have kept. But she no-showed me that day. Didn't return my calls on that day asking what happened...and then today when I called her again and left a message asking about the status of the shoot all I got was a text message saying she had to cancel for "personal reasons". Not that she had to reschedule...but cancel.
So, what happened? I mean if she doesn't want to shoot with me, I can't change that, but I really want to know why...! I was professional, friendly and genuinely excited to work with her and on this themed shoot... Now I sit and languish with the thought that somehow I did or said something to make her feel uncomfortable. But honestly I don't know what it could have been! And the bit that gets me the most is that I likely never will! Even if she did tell me what it was, all it would do to me is make me more upset because I guarantee it would be something she misinterpreted or misconstrued and no amount me saying "no, that's not the case..." would change things.
Well I could go on and on about this stuff. And who knows, I may come back and visit this topic, but for now, I am tired.
Good night.
